21 Gun Salute

For some reason I never posted about this incident...oh wait, I remember. Exhaustion. That was the reason. That and the fact that I was too tired to take a picture and I like to have pictures when I post. I wrote a lot of "poop" posts about Bug so Boo needs at least one. :)

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The incident I am about to describe happened when she was a few weeks old. I was still getting up twice a night with her at that point. It was during one of those fatigue laden times that the event occurred. I believe it was somewhere around 3:00a.m. Boo woke up and I went into her room to feed her. At that point I was keeping the small lamp on in her room so she would get the idea that it was nighttime and she needed to go right back to sleep after eating.

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I fed her for a few minutes and she started to fall asleep so I decided on the classic method of inducing wakefulness...changing her diaper. I put her on the changing table, took off her jammies, and started the process. I had the first diaper off and was doing the wiping. Right when I lifted her legs in the air to get the...undercarriage she decided to let loose. It was like a miniature fire hose. It literally came out in a stream about half and inch in diameter.

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The room was almost completely dark. But not dark enough that I couldn't see the carnage that was EVERYWHERE. Including the warm, dripping mess that was cascading from my hand and arm to the changing pad. So I decided to count the targets. What else are you going to do at 3:00a.m. when you are in the dark and covered in baby poop? It was either laugh or cry, and somehow I managed to laugh. Here is a compiled list of the items that were decimated.

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1. Changing table (wood part)

2. Changing pad

3. Mommy's hand

4. Mommy's arm

5. Mommy's shirt

6. Mommy's pants

7. Mommy's slippers

(yes the carnage was incredible)

8. The A + D rash ointment

9. The wipe warmer

10. The Johnson and Johnson Baby Lotion

(they didn't mind, they are a family company after all)

11. Rubbing Alcohol

12. Baby Oil

13. The old diaper

14. The new diaper

15. The basket where we keep the diapers

16. About ten clean diapers that were nearby

17. The wall (that is several feet away)

18. The kid-sized cow hide rocking chair

19. A blanket that was on said chair

20. Calendar that was hanging on the wall

21. And of course, the floor

And that was Boo's 21 gun salute!

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Here is a picture of the nursery (from last summer). You can see the trajectory she achieved. She was laying in the middle of that tan changing pad and she managed to hit the wall.

Here is a picture of her around the time of the crime.

Unfortunately for me, Mommy was the one who did the time.