Whew. This little one has given us a run for our money so far! She came out screaming and screamed for the first hour she was born so I guess that should have been a clue that she was not going to have an easy going personality. ;)
It seemed like she screamed for most of the first week of her life. She hated getting dressed or having her diaper changed and would literally be purple with rage by the time we finished! At about a week old T said, "She seems like she getting lighter." That observation took us into a tailspin of doctor's appointments and a lot of self-doubt and heartache for me. She had indeed lost weight. 9% of her birth weight...10% being the "danger zone". The reason she was screaming so much her first week was because she wasn't getting enough food. As my friend S said she was "hangry". Haha!
Although I have successfully nursed 4 babies to well past their first birthdays it is true what they say, "Every baby is different." For some reason even though she seemed to be getting a good latch and nursing the appropriate time length she wasn't getting enough milk. I didn't realize it because I know how to watch for the "signs" and she was doing fine with the big one...having a wet or poopy diaper at every feeding. Apparently she was getting just enough milk to pacify her and give her wet diapers, but not enough to gain weight, hence the waking up screaming well before her next feeding.
By the time we realized this she had apparently had enough and started rejecting breastfeeding altogether. We saw a lactation specialist who had several suggestions, and through some trial and error of my own I discovered that she would only nurse after taking 1-2 ounces by bottle first. Then sometimes she would nurse and sometimes she wouldn't. It was quite frustrating and heartbreaking to have her screaming at me like I was trying to kill her while all I was trying to do was feed her. :( I had quite a roller coaster of emotions...not helped by all the normal but crazy post-partum hormones already going through me. It was exhausting to say the least.
All that aside we are so thankful for our precious little one, and thankful that she is otherwise healthy.
I am not a huge fan of pumping, but I am very thankful that I was able to get my milk supply back (it dipped really low there for a few days) and am able to pump enough milk to keep her fed.
Such a miracle.
There for a while it seems like all we did was go to doctor's appointments. We saw our regular doctor when we realized she was losing weight. He referred us to an ENT in hopes that her problem was a tongue or lip tie. The ENT said no she was fine and told us to go to a lactation consultant. She gave us some tips and told us to go to a chiropractor. He said her neck was pretty locked up and did some adjustments. We saw him three times and while it didn't seem to help her with nursing she did gain a lot more movement of her head and neck and didn't seem quite as fussy. We have another appointment today, and one Thursday as well. She has had more doctor's appointments in her three weeks of life than her sisters combined from the last few years!
Here she is waiting at the hospital for her 2 week PKU test.
One positive thing is that even with all her feeding issues she has been doing really well with sleeping! In the day she will sometimes wake up too early and scream, but at night she eats and goes back to sleep almost immediately! Very nice little snuggle bug! :)
Emotionally it has been hard for me to have her reject nursing when it is such a special way for me to bond with my babies, but I am trying to be thankful that I can at least feed her in other ways. She LOVES the bottle, and even though the lactation consultant insisted that a baby this age can hold no more than 2.25 ounces she can down at 4-4.5 ounce bottle in no time!
I have been back and forth in my mind a million times about giving up nursing and just giving her formula. I feel like I have those little cartoon angel/devil guys on my shoulder advocating for formula or nursing. If I wasn't totally convinced of all the super powers of breast milk I would have thrown in the towel by now, but there are just SO many benefits for both her and I. It really is amazing!
I have told myself to hang in there until 1 month and then we can evaluate and decide how to best feed her. For now it is less than ideal, but it's working.
And even though I'm not enjoying our bottle/nurse/pump-for-the-next-feeding routine, this precious face makes it all worthwhile.
Prayers that she would gain weight and eventually be exclusively breastfed would be much appreciated!! :)
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